So you know I am a little sad since a couple of days. The reason you ask? Oh! It’s the blog. I keep thinking where am I heading towards and at times it just makes me really sad. Now it ain’t that I am not happy at all ‘cause it’s something I really love. But there are many things going on at the moment and I just feel too out of place.
Now, I didn’t really have plans for or had high hopes with ‘The Velvet Radio’. But with time, expectations have started to build up. The same way how you grow into a relationship with time. Is there a perfect relationship though? Doesn’t everything becomes hypothetical when the word ‘PERFECT’ comes into the picture? Anyway, so yeah something that I have started as a mere hobby has turned into a passion now and I can’t deny that I wish to have it as my profession someday. That’s what I am talking about… the expectations with ‘The Velvet Radio’.
Initially, when I started to blog, I didn’t really have a vision and a plan. I was very much into fashion like I have always been but I started doing things or more aptly ‘STYLING’ to please the AUDIENCE. You know, times when you realize that you have a lot of scope in a certain field, you tend to get into that field, don’t you? I could see everybody doing nice stuff in the mainstream fashion and I started doing that. Bought a couple of Indian wear and a few high heels! But just like in a relationship, if you only play by compromising, it’s not something that’s going to last i the long run. I didn’t really enjoy styling myself like a GIRLY GIRL and wearing shit loads of makeup. That’s when I decided to stop blogging so as to please others but only to do it for the love of it.
I have started to take only Streetstyle related projects since some 6 months back and I seem to be happy. Just a pair of torn cargoes and an oversized t-shirt makes me feel so much ME and comfortable. This is something which I don’t have to try. It just comes naturally, just the way how fashion is supposed to be- inherent, effortless and spontaneous.
But this has both a positive and a negative side to it. There are not many streetwear brands in India and the scene too is quite nascent. Due to this, I am not getting many projects and the kind of projects which I am getting are the ones which I don’t have much interest to work on. Since I don’t take these projects I tend to lose the money which THAT CAMPAIGN would have got me. Now, I can’t even start to explain how much important money is to me. Actually, I have mentioned a little bit about it in the last post. So, it gets a little frustrating at times. No work and losing INCOMING money, you know what I mean, how bad can it get!
Then there are times when people recognize me as a Streetstyle Blogger. They tag me and DM me the DOPE ASS street style stuff that they come across. And then there are times when some people say that they like that I am sticking to a niche and NOT trying out everything to be popular or be in the game. There are also times when they message me saying how they would like to see me style a particular outfit with a street style aesthetic. Doesn’t it make you feel out of the world when you are being appreciated for something you love to do? Doesn’t it feel great when you feel that you are on the right track? When I think of these moments, it makes me realize that these are the SECONDS IN MY LIFE WHEN I HAD EVERYTHING. At least, happiness! And I think happiness is all that counts. So, the question is, if you are a musician and you play Jazz but there ain’t no scope for Jazz and nobody likes Jazz, do you switch to a more popular genre such as Soul or Pop to be successful and to please others? Or do you keep playing Jazz for the love of it? What would you choose so as to keep yourself happy? I guess you know the answer! How do you measure success BTW? Anyway, I love Jazz and Soul both.
Maybe someday things will work out for me. Maybe it won’t. But I have decided to stick to what I am doing ‘cause this is what makes me happy. And I guess I am blogging for the love of it. Maybe there will be a day I would read this post and laugh my heart out over a glass of wine! How do I manage to dive so much down inside my own emotions? It’s like I am on a trip and don’t want the drug to go down.
No matter what, I am happy that you are with me and I can share my feelings with you, dear Diary.
In this post, I am wearing everything from the SS18 collection of the Spanish brand GRIMEY. Do check out their site for more of Streetwear.
P.S.: Due to some problem with the blog, I am not able to post enough pictures. But I didn’t want to NOT POST it due to this reason! I will upload more pictures once the issue is resolved.
~ Stylishly Yours,